May 20, 2014
The start of day 4 off meds. Went to bed relatively early last night. Didn't sleep all through the night despite Ambien. Feeling really exhausted, hazy, in a fog, dizzy, anxious, and just an over all sense of malaise. Every time I turn my head the room spins. Not a fun feeling.
Last year when I was going through a rough patch at least I had medication. This...this is cray cray. I have mini conversations with myself and my body and I let it know that it is not okay to get sick. I remind it that these feelings are unwelcome and they must go. I guess we'll see if my body is as hard headed as I am.
It boggles my mind that I can feel so tired and with such a feeling of lack of rest. All I want to do is sleep or be resting and I can't figure out if my body is physically tired or if it's mentally tired from all the sick feelings, joint pain, muscle aches, and dry heaves. How I hate dry heaves. Nausea in and of itself is bad enough, but when that's accompanied by the motion of throwing up yet nothing comes out...not cute
It's so crazy to me that doctors can be at a loss so often. I have so much pain sometimes and I just wish it manifested physically so that people would see my pain, because people don't always believe you don't feel well unless they can see it somehow. I've been to countless doctors, acupuncture (which with fibromyalgia can either make it worse or better, was worse for me) chiropractic, herbalists, dieticians blah blah.. And no answers. " Take six of these, four off these a couple of these and if you're in more pain, call me for the good stuff." the good stuff? The stuff that turns me into a constipated zombie? (I'd get more detailed as to the extent of my constipation but no one wants to hear that)
ReplyDeleteI feel up pain and I think I too will start to blog since some people on Facebook tell me I'm a downer and shouldn't post about my illness.
I love you my friend and hope things get better. If you need anything, even someone to talk to and vent, call me.
Hey Dorian - thanks for taking the time to read my blog. It wasn't always about Lupus but I thought it would be a good idea to document this experiment with no medication.
DeleteIn respect to sharing and some people not liking that you do. Screw them. If they don't want to read it they don't have to. If they don't want to know, they can block or delete the friendship on FB. Not a single person has the right to tell you how to manage or deal with the hardship, pain, or discomfort you experience. They do however, have the right to go fly a kite, at the beach, during a lighting storm.