May 22, 2014: Lupus day 6, no medication
Aside from the physical challenges, yesterday proved to be
emotionally challenging as well. For the first time in a long time I had a bit
of an emotional breakdown. A release of frustration and disappointment if you
will. I was feeling like I had nowhere to turn or anyone to turn to. Then, for
a reason only God could understand, I text a friend who also suffers from SLE.
Rather than text a reply, she called, and her name on my screen was the only
thing I needed to let my emotions flow. I was able to speak with someone who
actually knew firsthand what I was going through. Albeit our first phone
conversation ever, the forty-five minutes that followed truly helped me release
some pent up emotion as well as free myself from self-deprecation. Thanks
Roberta.
The symptoms are increasing and becoming more severe as well
as uncomfortable. I am sleeping more and more when I can and I seem to be
eating less and less. Needless to say, I've lost weight. I can tell by the way
my clothes are fitting me. Good thing for the wrong reasons. I am dying to get
to the gym but the dizziness and lack of energy won’t allow it. Here goes
another summer without that “summer” body. As if the Lupus itself wasn't
enough, the neurological symptoms add other challenges. I spoke to my
Rheumatologist yesterday and she is reluctant to prescribe anything that might
help ease the symptoms because she doesn't want that medication to be toxic to
my other illnesses, SO, today I went on a mad dash to send each of my doctors a
faxed letter expressing the need for something to be done ASAP.
If you haven’t heard of the “Spoon Theory” please look it up
on Youtube. Gives great insight as to what living with Lupus is like.
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