Reflection

Sometimes we get so busy and caught up in our day to day lives that we don't take time out to reflect on ourselves and things we do. Most of us strive to be better people but put little effort into making that happen. We kind of just throw caution to the wind and hope that evolution will come about on its own.

I've taken some time to reflect on things lately. Clearly the last couple of months have been full of change, upset, upheaval, new growth, and a lot of good. Despite those good things I have often given more focus to things that have upset me. In doing so I allowed the anger and resentment to be too present in my life. I mentioned in one of my postings that we should let go of the negative in order to allow the good things to come into our lives...I lost my way.

In my recent break up I felt the common feelings of anger, hurt, sadness, and I even allowed myself to feel like I might be to blame and less than attractive. With these feelings I expressed myself in a manner that was perhaps hurtful to my ex. I called him things like self centered and selfish. I realize now I was acting out of anger and I hope that he can find the place in his heart to know where it was coming from.

Yesterday I inadvertently disregarded plans I had made to spend time with someone. It was not my intention to hurt or disrespect that person but I did by my lack of communication. Truth be told, I slept a good part of the day but that is no excuse for not communicating. I apologize.

The Buddhist believe that people come into one another's lives for a reason, a process of growth and learning with and from one another. When that journey is over they respectfully allow the paths to separate and take you to your new experience. I wish that were as easy to accept as it is to read. I believe its human nature to mourn a loss of life or relationship. I wish the heart and the mind would work together when it comes to facing those types of change. Only time helps with that.

Easy or not we must try to forget the negative, to release it and not carry those feelings around with us. When we inflict negative on others we only harm ourselves. By holding onto those emotions we block the path for positive things to come our way. Life will serve us our fair share of ups and downs but how we handle the down side reflects on how we will grow with the up side. I'm making a conscious effort to focus on the good I experienced in my relationship and the good I've experienced in life. Remembering the good times helps lighten the load of the not so good.

Love yourself enough to know you deserve all the good things in the universe.