HIV and Social Responsibility

Yesterday I went to the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center for a routine HIV test. While I was waiting for my turn a counselor came and asked me if I'd be interested in taking part in a study being conducted on both coasts to track risk behaviors, knowledge, and care in the gay lesbian and transgender communities. After a brief interview I decided to sign up.

During the first part of the process I sat at a computer and answered questions about my behaviors, drug and alcohol use, partners and their HIV status, and the safety measures I use to protect myself during intercourse. I consider myself to be responsible and safe but while reading these questions I was forced to take a good look at my history and take notice of any potential risk I had ever put myself in. Fortunately I'm a little shy of sex so I can rest my head about pretty much any dangers...none the less we need to be safe and aware.

In the next part of the interview I sat with a counselor to record any questions or concerns I might have pertaining to HIV and sexually transmitted infections. All of this took place while my tests were being processed and read. The interview turned very much into a conversation. A conversation that more people should have with one another to openly discuss the safety and risks around sex.

In our exchange a grim reality came to light and it should concern ALL of us gay and straight alike. A lot of people are not concerned with being tested. They either don't feel they have reason to be or they simply don't care enough to know, and that's the reality we have to face when engaging in sex with someone. If you had cancer you'd want to know, be treated, and you certainly wouldn't want to give it to someone else. So why then do so many care so little about knowing their HIV status? Furthermore, why would you want to put someone else at risk of being infected?

The mentality exists among some that perhaps not knowing gives them license to freely go about sex and not be concerned with spreading and infection we can control. There also exists a false sense security in the medications available to us because treatment has come so far and people are living full lives while infected. But why would taking medication everyday out weight the comfort of knowing you are safe and keeping others safe at the same time?

Unfortunately in the mind of many age becomes a factor. The gay community tends to be very ageist. For some the thought of growing old and gay is a dismal reality they would rather not face. Because of that thought process they will act irresponsibly and allow themselves to become infected in hopes that perhaps the infection will end their lives before they have to face growing old. Its a mind set many may not grasp but rest assured it does exist.

Another sad reality is that of the person who knows they are infected and feels empowered to infect other people because they want to take others with them down that road. Somehow they feel they are paying back society for what life has given them. For what they have given themselves. In my mind this is the scariest of them all. To have such little regard for the health and well being of another is a place of darkness I cant understand but I'd like to. Understanding this mentality could potentially help curve the process and effectively change the rate of infections all together.

I have a dear friend who is positive and has been for a number of years. I honor and value him as a person and as someone who effectively does his part to stop the spread of HIV. Through his honesty, his outreach, and his caring he puts others first so as not to be that person who spreads HIV any further. While he is healthy and the virus is undetectable in his system, I know that he is affected by it everyday. I can't begin to imagine what its like for him but my heart and love go out to him in all that he does. In loving himself he loves others by maintaining his social responsibility to stop the spread of HIV. Nothing he could ever do will change my caring for him. He is an example and someone to look up to. He's decided that the line of HIV stops with him and he's committed to keeping it that way.

Get tested people. Take the short amount of time out of your day to know your status. Fear is no reason to keep you from being healthy. But fear can be the reason you become infected. Stop the spread of STD's and HIV by being socially responsible. Do your part and leave your mark. I am.