Tonight I was given a real dose of reality that made me think long and hard about what is true. I've loved and been loved. I've tried to put my best foot forward so that I can be that person that works at something that is worth having...but you cant have what doesn't want to be had.
I was told a story of a woman and a man that fell in love during their stay at a law firm in Chicago. They were in love put he wanted to move to CA to follow his heart at acting. Though they knew they were in love he had to go. While he was away she continued her law career and he went after his dream...knowing that his heart of hearts belonged to her. Without ever informing her he worked and worked and saved and sacrificed everything so that he could build a savings account that would allow them to be together in CA. When he had finally saved enough he told her what he had been doing and she promptly followed him to Los Angeles. They are now married, successful, and have a new baby.
My point is...when someone loves you...truly loves you...they are willing to give themselves and of themselves to make all that they want come true. They, like I tried to do, will sacrifice ALL so that hey can be with the one they love. Anything less is not true. Albeit, love has many different levels, but when its true love and all that comes with it...you will do anything to have it.
Obviously, at no fault of my own, I experienced something that may have been love but was far from being in love, because that person made it clear that he did not understand or know what it was to have such emotions. That doesn't mean he didn't love me...it just means he has a lot to work out in a heart that is lovable but too full of selfishness and being self centered to allow that single step forward that could lead to happiness beyond belief.
I don't say these things to convince people that love is not true...it is. And we should all open our hearts to it. But when you love to no end and it is met with hesitation...open your eyes and your heart so that you know what you are dealing with. In my experience I knew what was and what could be...so I banked on what could be. That is a choice you make on your own. None the less, I VALUE love, what is can be, and I respect the hurt that can come with it.
I've learned a lot from all of this. Four years of off and on, eight months of co-habitation, and a period of heart break afterward. Not easy but needed to see the true colors of love and the rainbow of opportunities that await each and everyone of us.
DO NOT close your mind or heart to love. We need it and want it. He who chooses to fill his life with empty half witted relationships will be the one to stand alone and suffer the life of someone who has been too scared to take that plunge. Do not allow someone else to make you that person. We are all in control of what we can and can not have. Focus on what you want and know you can get it.
Open your heart and soar to new horizons.
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I really enjoyed your blog, I also have had some issues and turbulence in my love life with people not stepping up to fight for what they want.
ReplyDeleteHonestly I've never really been the one to open up and it has consistently hindered my ability to keep love interests around. Who wants to be the one to flow out affection, only to just hit a brick wall, its not fun. I would consistently use the phrase "I'm Married to my Job" and all it did was close that door to love interests that perceptively could of came into my life, but unfortunately they were met at the castle gate by a militia of guards with weapons drawn.
Do not hinder though, sometimes the selective few were allowed into the courtyard, but always under close watch. The pressure causes their eyes to waver looking for the nearest exit in any case this situation may go sour... and when that time came, and the king presented himself with his guards and "regulations" they would flee, on the closest steed as far as the eyes could see.
I playing may roles in this storybook, I have always tried to play the king, the princess, and the prince in shining armor and to no avail, I was denied at the gates, was left to rot in the tower, or conquered by a neighboring kingdom only to be imprisoned with in my own walls, and captured with bars of despair and regret.
My story might sound sad, upsetting, and destructive, but, its actually that of the opposite. As a King it has allowed me to examine my kingdom, and allow anything I wish to have there present itself. To the Prince in shining armor, I will be that all I can be to be for me... and no one else. I put out the kindness, affection, and humor, only wish to hope for that in return, from my sleeping beauty, but that isn't counted on. I cannot be mad at people for being themselves. For my beauty will come, and sweep me from my feet, as I sweep them, and there we will both lie on the floor staring into each others eyes, laughing for all eternity. To the princess, trapped in the watch tower awaiting the prince in shining armor, you are a princess in despair and sadness, for 1 you must be happy with your tower, and enjoy its strong stone walls which protect you from all that is evil. For once the happiness is achieved from with in those two stone walls, it is then that the tower is no more, and your prince is actually already there, waiting for you, and the bottom of that stairway, steed in hand. :)
these are my stories, my wars of wars, and as the battles begins, bombs burst in air, I know I gave through myself into the night, that hopefully when I wake up, I will still be there. For this country and land built on the lives of others, has allowed me the freedom, the choices, to be close to family, friends and my brothers. When I feel the tower door closing behind me, like a fish in a net, I think, and ponder, I don't wanna be, I don't wanna feel, I don't know what I meant. The Prince cannot save what doesn't want saving, and the King cannot conquer if he isn't deserving. The Princess will weep, until the sky turns to dark, despair and destruction, you better flee lark. For hope only lies with in these walls, as well as the fear, sadness, and down these halls. With in this story, there is a hero, but who could it be, the King, the Prince, or maybe a zero. We all play a roles in every aspect of life, but choosing our paths is what sometimes causes us strife. Write own ending and continue to fight, for what you want, your goals, your life, into the light. This story ends when you foretell it so, so keep it going until its reached tip top toe.. :) THE END! :)
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