Realizing...

Over the last couple of weeks I have done a lot of thinking about where I am emotionally, physically, professionally, and spiritually. Physically I am doing better, spiritually I am healthy and growing, professionally I could be better but couldn't we all...then we get to emotionally.
I, like many I'm sure, often get stuck in a thought process where I start to evaluate EVERYTHING in my life. Lately I have been doing a lot of soul searching to try and figure out what seems off to me, what is keeping me from running at top speed. Some of the obvious things are health, energy, time...but as I began to dig deeper I realized what is bothering me and then I was bothered by what is bothering me.
I'm lonely. Not because I dont have friends or things to do that will occupy my time. Not because my life doesn't have purpose and certainly not because I lock myself up in the house and hide from the world...but because I miss the intamacy shared. I miss the laughs, the silence and knowing that its okay, I miss the sharing and the caring. I miss rolling over and sneaking a long glance before waking.
It's not the sex...God knows that if I wanted just that it could be found in a countless number of ways and places. No, I miss the touch that seems so simple but means so much.
It's a strange place to be in...to realize that I have such a full life but can feel so alone...but it's also a blessing because I am forced to look at myself and reflect on so much that might help me understand how I got here.