When One Isnt Enough...

January 31, 2003. Jordan and Rob set out for a night on the town with friends. Much like any other night they decided to go out, all were ready to have a great time. The music was good, the club was crowded, and all of their friends were in and on good spirits. It was coming on midnight when Rob mentioned he may want to go home early because he was tired, but was adamant Jordan stay out with their friends to enjoy the night. Nothing new since Rob would sometimes retire earlier than Jordan. Kiss. See you at home.

More dancing and more drinks as Jordan stays on with his friends. As the club was coming to a close the guys decided to invite some people over and finish off the night at a house party. Morning is rolling around and Jordan reminds his friends that the Space Shuttle Columbia was coming back to earth that morning so they turned the music down and watched...in horror as the shuttle disintegrated upon re-entry to the earths atmosphere. That put an end to festivities.

A couple of the guys dropped Jordan off at his boyfriends apartment across the river, since this is what he and Rob decided on. Hugs, kisses, and up the elevator he goes. As Jordan ascended to the fourth floor all he could think about was the comfort of Rob's arms after a long night and the shuttle disaster. Clearly some rest was in order.

Upon entering the apartment Jordan walked down the entry hall and had an uneasy feeling but he passed it off as too much to drink the night before. Coming to the "T" at the end of the hall he looked right towards the living room and then left toward the bedroom. The door was closed but not completely. This struck Jordan as odd since he and Rob never closed the bedroom door. With a knot in his stomach Jordan slowly walked to the bedroom and pushed the door open.

Inside the room Jordan observed from left to right. Door closed. Shades down and windows cracked open. CD player on but the music had finished. The smell of embers filled his nose as he continued his gaze right to see the fire had recently gone out and as he dropped his gaze Jordan saw Rob sleeping peacefully in bed, with two other people. In shock Jordan managed to find some calm so that he could take it all in. As he stood there Rob rolled over and saw Jordan standing at the edge of the bed. Sitting up on his elbows Rob whispered in a worried tone, "Jordan."

In the living room Rob met up with Jordan. Obviously Jordan's first order of business was to find out who these two other people were. "Friends" Rob replied. Considering what Jordan had observed he found it hard to believe these were just friends, especially since Rob was tired and wanted to go home to rest. Jordan pressed on and questioned the closed door, the fire, the music. In Rob's feverish desire to explain he said the door was closed with the fire on because it was cold in the apartment. So Jordan replied, "if it was so cold why did you have all the windows cracked open?" To this Rob had no reply.

From the shadows appeared a doe eyed ignorant who tried to tranquilize an already calm Jordan. As he watched Rob leave the room Jordan looked at the guy and waited for words to fall from his lips. "Jordan, I know this is hard. Rob told us that you guys broke up and you are having a hard time letting go. I hope you can find a way through this. I'm sorry." Jordan wanted to strangle the guy. He looked around at what he could use other than his hands to take the guys head off. When he came up with nothing he looked at this creature and said, "Do not address me. You don't know anything about me or what you've just done. Don't you dare think you are my equal or that you can try to appease me. You're nothing." To this Rob came back into the room to give the two a ride home.

True story. I AM JORDAN. This happened to me on February 1, 2003. I was devastated. I thought I had done something to create this in my life. I was crushed and could have cared less about being part of this world...but I knew that from this I would grow and learn and that perhaps, one day, I would be able to help another with my truth.

Life is beautiful but sometimes you hit a bump in the road...maybe more...but if we can take these bad time, heal, and learn from them...we can help one another.

I don't know why now, eight years later, I decided to share my experience but today it poured over my mind like paint over a canvas. The picture was so vivid and real that I felt perhaps, I needed to share to help another.

Faith and love are a force. If one isn't enough...save the hurt and set the other free.